I have being thinking about this word “expectations”. Wether personal, professional or emotional. Most times something goes wrong or something upsets you or puts you in a bad mood is because the outcome of whatever it is didn’t match your expected outcome. Why is that ?
Take a few minutes to think about what was the last thing that upsets you and meditate over it.
You will realize that we always have an expected outcome of an “A” situation but when it doesn’t match the actual end product, we tend to get angry and lose control. Your boss didn’t keep a promise, your husband didn’t come home on time, your child didn’t behave a certain way, your loved ones didn’t show enough respect or care, your body didn’t lose fat or gained muscle….Etc.
So, knowing that expectations could drive you mad, How can we control that cycle in order to have closer gap between the two? (Expectation # Result)
One solution could be to not expect at all. Just live the moment and whatever comes you roll with it. Result: living a happy life.
Second, could be that you expect the worst. In this case any result is better than worst case. Result: living a happy life.
Or, in this case, and what I actually prefer, is to control the environment. Since I was very little my mum use to tell that if she promised me something and She didn’t deliver it I would go absolutely mad. I still do. 🙂
Since I started communicating my expectations, either to my self (on my diary) or to people, I am living a better life. In a relation ship for example, I try to set those expectations or communicate them from the very early stage. So that way you won’t be in situation where you are told “you changed”. Actually we do change and that’s the beauty of life. But the change should not be drastic. We change because in the beginning of a relation ship we are so madly in love that we forget about ourselves and our needs. Once the love starts to fade, our real “us” emerges and at that point what was expected from us and what we deliver become different. “You changed”. Most likely at that point the cheatings, the lies, the break up starts. Sad but true. 😦
Also professionally, if we communicate clearly what we are looking for from our career prospective and what dreams we are seeking to achieve, the outcome would be much better. I personally break the big expectation to mini expectations that are communicated on a monthly bases to my report lines and my teams. The result: living a happy life.
Finally, in your physic. Most people get pumped about working out, the get a gym member, supplements from the Internet and after few months they start slagging and eventually quiet the gym. Here again the expectation and the end result was not matching. Hence the demotivation.
I have being training over 15 years and yet I haven’t reached the physic in my dream. Which is basically having massive legs. 🙂 But I never lost sight and I never quiet. Of course I have days when absolutely frustrated with myself and my body. What I do is I set smaller projects or “expectation” inside the massive expected plan. If I reach that little step, I reward my self. I am pretty good at rewarding myself :-). It’s ridiculous. But what I mean is I reward myself to stay focused and satisfied with what I have. But again, I am in total control of the environment. I calculate my intakes, I workout intensely, I don’t party or fool around. Meaning I have communicated I expectations to myself and I am committed to it. Result: happy life.
I hope this simple writing will help you in your future plans. If it does please tell me.
All the love from Ash.